The Devil
It’s been many months since I’ve visited my tarot writing. My personal life has shifted dramatically, in some positive ways but, I am moving through a major familial loss that has shifted a lot of my priorities. I have been yearning for the head and heart space to spin some magic for myself again. I find myself sitting here on a rainy Junuary afternoon breathing deep and allowing in what I need to receive. The Devil appears.
The Devil often conjures up many a negative feeling and image. How many times have you seen a movie where the fortune teller’s eyes grow wide, eyebrows raise, and the mystic purrs, about danger, death, or destruction while flashing the evil goat’s card? Personally, I love a misunderstood creature, The Devil here is to acknowledge balance. The Devil is here to help you stand in your convictions.
We have long been fed ideas of binaries, good and evil, day and night, love and hate. The more we explore about nature, the more we understand that binaries don’t really fit into our natural world. The day fades into the night that eventually brightens into day. Seasons change even within their own definitions. Flowers impregnate themselves. Hell, male seahorses give birth! The absolute beauty of this world is change, possibility, curiosity, discovery, enlightenment.
Change is a constant, a given. Possibility and enlightenment only follow those who are willing to make nice with each fractal of themselves. The shadow and the light. The Devil sits here with a mirror to awaken you to every aspect of self. Connect with pleasure, connect with what you have been fighting and hiding from, connect with the information you find in the dark.
When I read about the devil in the Christian bible as a child, I often questioned why it was so bad to find pleasure or give into desire, doesn’t a loving god want us to love ourselves? Doesn’t a loving god want us to experience every bit of this life we can possible squeeze out of it? Lucifer was struck down for believing he was as powerful as god himself. The longer I am on this earth, the more I believe that god is a blade of grass, god is laughter, god is lightning, god is every piece of matter that exists in this universe. I believe we are all holy, and a miracle. Each body and it’s mutation and modification is the universe experiencing itself. Our pleasure is holy, the exploration of ourselves is holy. How anyone finds their truth is holy.
Part of this discovering is absolutely about finding all the ways you do NOT want to move through the world. Learning what works for you, what doesn’t work for you, how to say NO is an absolutely a sacred experience. Learning that other people’s journeys are not your own and if they’re not harming you or others, make peace with yourself. If you are upset by what they are choosing to experience in this life (this goes out to the transphobes out there—no room for you at my inn) I suggest you focus on yourself instead. Marginalized people in this society act in beautiful defiance by finding their own truth and living it out in what way they choose and each generation finds and builds on that resilience. It might not always be pretty and one might not always agree but self actualization is of the utmost importance for a sustainable community and world. The Devil approves, and you should too.
The Devil, firey goat, horned creature reminds me to make space for personal integrity by honoring the parts of myself I like to ignore. Hurt parts, coping mechanisms, my “lacking", all have had a purpose to help me survive. There is a cavernous space for each part of myself, I am expansive. I am enough. And certain things I can lay to rest—putting my insecurities in a peaceful sleep. Grief too, needs space and rest. The Devil represents all of what we can encompass and what we must face.
Ultimately, We reach peace through surrender.